Christmas Eve: so, so tired

Usually Christmas Eve is my favorite holiday. This year I’m just waiting for it all to pass. I have no patience for anything right now. I’m constantly frustrated and as I sit here and write this it’s a real struggle. Not sure what to do about that other than step away from being online for a bit if I can do it (big if). That is a challenge for me but I think given everything it’s time to give it yet another try. I also am not sure that these public” pronouncements are useful, in fact I assume they’re annoying to most but at this point I’m just trying to vent my frustration somewhere.

What is most frustrating is the constant desire of people on social media to oversimplify every issue. It doesn’t make a difference which side” you are on, right or left, because both sides are doing the exact same thing. It’s taken me a long time to see it but it’s pretty clear now that stepping outside of whatever orthodoxy you are more biased to brings a swift rebuke from the Legions of the Outraged. I’m not sure what these groups think they’re accomplishing but trying to interact with them is exhausting and I’m not sure why I can’t just stay away from it all. Most issues are not easily distilled to black and white. Am I the only person who knows this? It seems very unlikely but if you’re on social media you might think so.

I know it’s going to be frustrating. I know it’s going to be exhausting. Yet I do it anyhow which is a huge problem because then it leaks into the hard reality of my wider life where none of this makes any difference and I’m less prepared to deal with those other things with the clear mind that I really need.

What is a shame is there is a small group of people who I really love interacting with on social media (if you’re reading this you know who you are). These folks are from the and communities who I would love to meet in real life some day; they seem to be truly good people. I just don’t know how to be on there without digging myself deeper into the hole of these interactions with stuff I know I should be staying away from. I really envy the folks there who seem to be able to stay away from all of that. Not sure how they do it other than they don’t have whatever personality flaw I have that draws me into this crap.

All that said, I hope that everyone who celebrates has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope all of us are able to live healthier lives in 2024.

December 24, 2023